The importance of emotional intelligence in children
Teach children emotional education not only good for them and, in general, for our family, but also for ourselves, that we feel more satisfied and happy. Know that it is possible to be a “coach” of your children and guide them and help them develop correct emotional intelligence … all of this can be done without ceasing to be parents.

So how can we become “coach” of our children in our home?

How to educate children about positive emotions
The Spanish psychologist Ana Asensio , in an article in the Spanish magazine Serpadres , has identified some ways to teach emotional intelligence to children . Here are what they are.

EDUCATE TO CALM AND SERENITY. It is a teaching that is very important today and that children will also use for the rest of their lives: it is essential to learn to return to calm and to connect with your own serenity. We all know how fast today’s world is and we know the amount of stimuli that exist.

It is advisable to know how to calm down, to know how to breathe, to learn to remain silent, to learn to stop, to wait, to know boredom, to do “nothing”. Equally fundamental is connecting with the body and knowing how to connect with that healthy “light-heartedness” that allows our head and body to rest.

EDUCATE TO EMOTIONS. It is vital to learn what is going on inside us, what we feel, understand feelings, etc. When we want to train our children in this, it is important to educate them to know the emotions, to know how to read them, to talk about them and to support them in recognizing them. For example, sorrow can result in anger, but it can also result in sadness for a certain period of time. The important thing is that our children learn to feel emotions and to decide their management , evaluating the consequences and what they need.

EDUCATE TO TRUST . The trust is important for our inner happiness, is a security and certainty internal state. Feeling confident will always help us not to continually experience fear or run away. To educate our children about trust, it is important to trust them, to stand by their side, to take care of them. Even when they are teenagers and go to the cinema with friends: in this situation we can feel fear or distrust, but it is important to coldly evaluate the situation, feel that “connection” with them and trust them. This is the best way to help them.

Stefano Denna explained that the statement “That of the parent is the most difficult job in the world, when you grow up, you will notice …” is a phrase that his father always pronounced, just as many other parents did and do the same .

«Many other people like me have heard this when they were little. And it’s true. But you can train, “he said.

How to overcome the fears that follow the birth of a child?
«Very recent studies of genetics have shown how the fears and anxieties of the new mother influence the child and, even, the three following generations, also on a cellular level. So we must pay attention to the moods that we live as new parents daily , since there may be consequences that are not immediately visible.

In general, one must learn to become aware of one’s emotions . By being overwhelmed by fear, you only gain access to 2 percent of your potential. Instead it is essential to draw on one’s resources through language or through a possible change of attitude or with very specific techniques. It is necessary to exit the state of fear and enter a condition of calm and tranquility in order to make the less wrong choices.

It is also important to learn how to manage stress , which occurs especially when we enter a “survival” state. Faced with difficulties, flight, aggression or impotence occur. In that case, if there is no change of attitude, you risk being ineffective.

I repeat that the awareness of one’s emotions is fundamental , which do not come from the outside, but are the result of internal mechanisms related to how we talk to each other, to the questions we ask ourselves at a given moment and how we use more or less consciously strategies that allow consequent changes of moods », clarified Stefano Denna.

Teenage children, how to behave?
«We live in the world of symptom care: if I have a headache, I take the pill, etc. Instead, there are no concrete and definitive solutions to problems posed by teenage children . In my opinion, one does not suddenly become adolescents, but the process of growth and, consequently, of education, has continued since the boy was born. It all depends on the work done consciously by parents with children.

Values ​​and teachings must be transmitted even when the children are very young through, for example, fairy tales, games, aware messages. In my opinion it is impossible for a child to suddenly change, proving problematic. A parent coach, like a coach who trains his team for the following season starting long before, knows that the education of the child is a very long process and therefore he prepares himself well from the beginning ».